I Resign!

Dear Men of the Universe,

I am formally putting in my two weeks. I am formally resigning from being a girl. Why you ask? HA! Have you ever worn a bra? Have you ever had PMS? I have a feeling the answer is no! Being a girl entails a lot more than looking pretty. We go through many hardships in our lives and get through them with very little accolade or appreciation from the men in the world.
The typical male enjoys a good clean fun day of sports; sports like baseball, golf, tennis, basketball, volleyball, hockey, etc… Now imagine yourself swinging the baseball bat, the golf club, the tennis racket or the hockey stick. Then put two really uncomfortable large or small lumps on your chest that you can’t remove and imagine the excruciating pain of the fast and strong contact of your arms and your chest. THAT is what we deal with everyday.
Do you think women use PMS as an excuse? Now I won’t go in to graphic detail about the female menstrual cycle but if you think about it long and hard, I am pretty sure PMS is anything but “just an excuse.” This moment in your lives marks a change in us for the REST of our lives. This changes who we are. It creates a new lifestyle completely. It is not just an excuse.
The stereotypes that girls have been labeled with have, over time, become a normal and universal characteristic of ALL girls. For the most part, girls do cry but not all girls do. ALL girls are not bad at sports. ALL girls do not love to shop. ALL girls do not love to talk on the phone. Girls have been stereotyped as emotional bimbos and therefore I can’t remain a female any longer. Planning the wedding is ALWAYS the girl’s job. Would it kill for it to be a mutual effort? Guys have everything so easy but yet when they are asked to help they complain. Why can’t I do that? Cooking has become a necessary talent that woman must possess before she can find a suitable man who deems her worthy of his attention along with the nice boobs that we love so much! Women are not ALL bad drivers. I am sick of men constantly commenting on women’s lack of driving skills.
Labor Pains. How many of you think that you have experienced pain? Well, to women, you have not experience anything till you are in a hospital bed pushing a life-size, eight pound, screaming baby out of your body!! The cringing feeling that you just got in your body while imagining this event gets worth growing up as a girl knowing what is to occur in our future.
Due to the lack of respect and the extreme amount of stress that you gentlemen have caused, I RESIGN from being a woman of the universe!\

Sincerely,

Caroline (a newly found Man of the Universe)