Dear Alpha phi,
I am writing to inform you that I will no longer be attending your torturous and ultimately comical Monday evening meetings. As of this moment I will not be paying an annual due for my membership in your fraternity and expect a full refund for the previous years’ payments as I will need the money to pay for the therapy and the alcohol needed to drown out and forget the horrible experiences encountered within the chapter room.
My epiphany for this drastic decision came when two of your executive board members “served” me on my front doorstep for consuming alcohol at the formal dance I attended earlier this winter. What flapdoodle! How is one expected to survive such an event without a cocktail in hand? Aside from that I am 22 years old. Legally able to make an informed and responsible decision regarding my personal alcohol consumption. Not only did you want me to reconcile my actions by cleaning out your basement for six hours but you also demanded I “state my case” in front of your judicial board. What a joke. Seriously, it makes me laugh.
Anyhow, I am not afraid that I am making a poor decision to disaffiliate from this sorority because it is probably the best decision I will ever make. Don’t be offended but do take heed, you need to educate your members on the importance of thinking for themselves and engaging their time and energy in something worthwhile instead of pretending their mixers and balls are benefiting a philanthropy no one really knows about. AOE
4 comments:
This made me laugh! I've never been part of a sorority but you give a funny insight into the system. I'm not sure if I totally understand what the hypertext is supposed to be about but maybe you could make your about how sororities are outdated. You already make a good point that they put so much work into the dances and charity is like an after thought.
Amy Magill!!! You crack me up... I agree with you completely on the ridiculousness of paying 1000 dollars for friends!! Great resignation!
niiice, I enjoyed your brutal satire of the sorority system, poking fun at your own expense at your own horrible experiences. I'd suggest for your hypertext essay do an anonomoys interview of sorority girls and their opinions of the system, what needs to be changed, what works, if anything. Make it a compilation of sorts, a documentary of the sorority system, it would be very interesting to say the least.
I feel like your point is very well made. You state your disagreements very clearly and very creatively. I think you could mention a little more about why you decided to leave and how their philosophies intersect with yours!
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