For me, Shipler’s nonfiction novel The Working Poor has best demonstrated the low wage life. His great use of statistics from the Clinton and Bush eras are used well along with quotes from people that are flirting with the poverty line. He also does a great job of simplifying the differences between skilled and non-skilled wages as well as the difficulties of receiving welfare or government financial help. However, one of the examples he used that hit me the most was on page ten when Shipler gave a few quotes from a man named Frank Dickerson. Before he spent three years in prison, Frank was a janitor who supported his family with his janitorial wages and the large amount of money he made selling drugs. Dickerson’s justification was that the janitorial gig was barely livable, and in order to give his wife and kid’s decent clothing, food, and a nice area to live, he had to sell drugs. Dickerson’s called it living ‘comfortably’.
Surprisingly, this little part in Shipler’s introduction really helped me realize the topic for my second hypertext. Previously, I had been wavering on a couple main ideas, but Dickerson’s story brought narrowed it down to one thing: the low wage life of janitors and maintenance workers. For the past couple of years, I’ve really started to notice those people fixing or cleaning up around me wherever I go, and I can never get that feeling of guilt when I’m around them. I look at my nice clothes, my expensive university, and my lackluster way of life, and I feel bad for the workers at schools who work long hours and most of the time never hear a thank you.

Hyper text essay 2

In my second hypertext essay I plan to write about young adults working in retail stores. I plan to show my own personal experiences in the retail business as well as the experiences of others. I want to incorporate the views of both the customers and workers and why the majority of retail workers seem to be made up of young adults. I also want to explore what the benefits and also disadvantages of being a teenager is in the retail business
About two christmas’ ago I had worked at a retail store called TAJ Warehouse. At Taj we would sell clothes mostly for kids. Not only did we sell retail but we also sold arts and craft products such as stamps, stickers, pens, ect. For the most part working at TAJ was bareable only due to the fact that I had good co-workers and my aunties owned the shop. Though even with relation to the owners, after that Christmas I never wanted to work in retail again. Coming into the job I had thought it would be a breeze to sell shirts but little did I know how many odd tasks I would also be sent too do. Working in Retail could also be seen through Nickel and Dimed. The whole third section of selling in Minnesota is on the retail industry. On pages 156-157 you get a good look of how one in retail is suspossed to act and treat customers. If not for co-workers the working environment and also the job criteria does not seem intriguing at all. Though I have yet to do extensive research I am interested in exploring this subject

Hypertext 2: Landscaping

In my second hypertext essay, I am going to write about the low wage life of landscaping workers and also to incorporate why there are more people of one ethnic group that work in landscaping.

I myself have not been employed in the landscaping industry, however, I have had experience with landscaping at my own home and we have recently had our front walk/patio redone through a landscaping company. Throughout the week-long process of construction (although it seemed more like a remodeling), I watched this small landscaping crew take apart my front walkway, dig it out, rip up all the cement, add new materials for the base and to make it level, and to actually place all the stones for the new walkway. When I left for work on Monday morning at 7 in the morning, I saw the landscaping crew drop off one (1) guy to start tearing up the old walkway. When I returned that afternoon at 4, that one guy had completely removed every stone slab, all the cement underneath those stone slabs, and even dug out the wider path for the new walkway without any help from others and without any power tools.

But even more interesting, was that they probably get paid near to nothing, and most likely are paid under the table. The workers themselves spoke very little English, yet they were greatly skilled and knew exactly what needed to be done on the job. Shipler states that “for a paltry wage, albeit on far greater than at home, [immigrants] feed and clothe and comfort the Americans they wish to emulate. So it is in potato fields and sewing lofts, in cleaners and restaurants, and in the manicured gardens of suburban affluence” (77).

Immigrant workers in the landscaping industry seems to be directly related to everyone in the U.S., whether we have hired a landscaping crew or not, you see it everywhere – public gardens, parks, schools and universities, the list goes on. The basic business objective is to obtain equal or higher quality but by paying much less for it. Landscaping companies can offer this to their customers through the use of immigrant workers, and also by paying their employees very low wages.

Hypertext 2: Retail

For my second hypertext essay, I’m going to write about my experience working in the retail industry. I will focus on how retail workers are often overworked and usually underpaid. My personal experience was at Sur la Table, a store that sells high-end kitchen appliances, gadgets and miscellaneous kitchen accessories. I will discuss my time spent working at Sur la Table and how I was coerced into doing far more than I was hired to do. I will talk about my discussions with fellow employees and my relationship with my manager. I will talk about how I was treated by customers working in an upper-class neighborhood (like Los Gatos) and how it may differ from other locations. The people I worked with ranged in age from 18 to 55. One common denominator among most of them, however, was that they were forced to work more than one job. I will discuss the paradox of working at an expensive retail store that grants employee discounts to their workers, yet doesn’t pay enough to allow them to actually buy anything there.
When I was reading Shipler’s, The Working Poor, the vagueness of climbing up the pay ladder made me think about my personal experience.
“Debra had no confidence that she could move up in position and pay. Whenever she asked supervisors about the salary at their level, they’d answer vaguely, ‘It varies.’ She couldn’t get specific figures, so she had no sense of what her goal might be.” (Pg. 49)
One thing I found interesting while working at Sur La Table, is the variation in salary. The job paid per hour, but it was different for everyone that worked there. I got paid $1 more than a girl 2 years younger than me with more experience. Another male co-worker, the same age as me, with the same experience, was paid more.
The style of my hypertext essay will draw from Ehrenreich’s Nickel and Dimed. It will be an autobiographical account of my working experience and my association with my co-workers. I have a lot of friends working in the retail industry that feel they are treated unfairly in some way.

Immigrants in the Hotel Industry

In my first hypertext essay I talked briefly about my own experience in the low wage workforce as well as artists and their low wage struggles. For my second hypertext essay I want to focus on immigrants working in the hotel industry. Having worked as a housekeeper on a guest ranch in Wyoming this past summer, I experienced the full effects what it is like to work long hours for little pay.
Housekeeping is a common employment opportunity many immigrants flock to, sometimes earning as little as $5.25 an hour. As hotels transform to a more luxurious “home away from home,” added amenities only provide maids with more to do in less time. During busy seasons, maids are typically expected to clean a set amount of rooms and are forced to work through breaks and lunch to finish on time. Not only are hotel maids considerably underpaid but they also endure harsh working conditions and treatment. Without a doubt, housekeepers hold one of the most dangerous jobs in a hotel. Hotel maids fall victim to on-the-job injuries as well as verbal, physical, and sexual abuse from managerial staff. Many hotel maids develop medical problems such as carpal tunnel syndrome and serious back injuries from the overly repetitive and meticulous nature of housekeeping. Still, the hotel industry relies heavily on immigrants to keep hotels operating throughout America. Immigrants often flock towards these “unskilled” employment opportunities because many Americans do not want them. Further, discrimination and the lack of understanding of diversity, thwart immigrant success in America. These disadvantages leave many immigrants vulnerable to tainted businesses and corporations that undercut worker rights. Employers rely on immigrant workers because they think they can get away with cheating them of their wages. Like most low wage workers in the US today, these New Immigrants, legal and illegal, find little glamour in their daily work and often struggle to make ends meet.

Hypertext #2 Topic: Low Wage Workers at Wal-Mart

For my second hypertext essay, I have chosen to write about working at Wal-Mart and how disadvantaged their employees are. One of the reasons I chose this topic is that one of my closest friends works at Wal-Mart for very low wages. I started researching a little and found out there have been studies showing that workers at Wal-Mart are prevented from forming unions. This idea came up when Eric Schlossen wrote in 'Fast Food Nation' about how McDonald's workers are also prevented from forming unions (75-78). Speaking of Schlossen, I admire how he wrote his book about the fast food industry from many different perspectives and included a lot of personal stories. I would like to find some great personal stories to include in my second hypertext essay from not only one perspective.
In David K. Shipler's 'The Working Poor,' we get the idea that once you are poor, it can be a never ending cycle. He writes about how people are "stuck at such low wages that their living standards are unchanged." (4) I would like to find out more about how this idea relates to workers at Wal-Mart. Perhaps I can find some great personal stories about Wal-Mart workers being "stuck." In Barbara Ehrenreich's 'Nickel and Dimed' she incorporates the stories of her new co-workers with her narrative about her different low wage jobs. While I enjoyed her narratives and learned a lot from them, I do not have enough time to go make a living off of the low wages from Wal-Mart. I can however take some of the ideas she presents and work them into my essay. I have not yet read her chapter on working at Wal-Mart, but I plan to use that as a starting point for my essay and go from there. If I find my topic to be too broad, I will try to narrow it down a little by looking at the type of articles I can find on the subject.

Child Sweatshop Labor

The topic I am going to write on for hypertext #2 is Child Labor in Sweatshops of Third World Countries. I know that this topic is a very salient issue and I know that it is very widespread and has the potential to be extremely vague. I didn’t want to put my topic in an extremely specific time or place, so I narrowed it down by examining the presence of child labor in third world countries. I want to look particularly in sweatshops. From the books that we have been reading for class by Enhrenreich, Schlossler, and Shipler, I have begun thinking in depth about the different aspects of a low wage life. I think that this topic fits perfectly into what I have learned about the low wage life. Schlossler’s book, “Fast Food Nation” highlights the idea that corporations employ teenagers purposely for many reasons (26). He discusses that these corporations like McDonald’s seek out teenagers for their tendency to obey, and their compliance with the low wage and ridiculous hours that are often in store for fast food workers. This idea translates directly to my topic, it is just an exaggerated version of Schlosser’s hypothesis. The idea that children are submissive and vulnerable, is the reason that they provide them with little or no wages, for ridiculous hours. It is even harder for the child sweatshop labor in third world countries because usually there is no strong, successful government to enforce any child labor laws, or to increase the general standard of living through a strong economy. Reading Shipler’s book, “The Working Poor”, I have begun to understand the vicious cycle that is poverty. As Shipler states, “it is very expensive to be poor”(11). It is even more impossible when you start at this level of poverty as a child, and they wear you out before it is even time to start struggling on your own. Barbara Ehrenreich social experiment that spurned her to write, “Nickel and Dimed”, showed me a lot about how point of view makes such a difference in the attempt to “report on a lived experience”. The way that she brings the character to life through her first person narrative really gave me some perspective on how I want to tell the story of these children.

HT2 proposal

I plan to write about Nike sweatshop workers. I chose Nike because it is the biggest name in athletic apparel, similar to McDonalds being the biggest name in the fast food industry. I also chose Nike because I’ve some things about the workers of sweatshops, so I want to do some research to see what I can find about what goes on. I’m thinking about the sweatshops run in China, but I haven’t done any research yet, so when I do, I’ll probably see where most of their factories are. I read some interesting things about sweatshops in America in The Working Poor. One thing that amazed me was that the workers are paid by the piece, and a very experienced, very skilled worker could make minimum wage if they worked at a feverish pace (78). Another thing was that one of the workers said that it cost $2 to pay the people who make one pair of pants (79). If this is how it is in American sweatshops, how cheap is it in foreign ones? Hopefully I will be able to find out when writing this hypertext essay.

hypertext #2

My hypertext essay #2 is going to be on the retail business, clothing to be exact. Barbara Ehrenreich writes about her experiences in working for a low wage in “Nickel and Domed.” I’m going to do the same in my hypertext. I’m going write my point of view as a worker there, the point of view customers have of the people who work there (I’m going to use the point of view/opinion I used to have of the people who worked at the store). Also, like Ehrenreich and given experiences of people from “Fast Food Nation”, I’m going to talk about the type of people who came into the store and how the workers and I would deal with them; from scary to annoying to not being able to understand what they were saying. In “Fast Food Nation” by Eric Schlosser, I could easily relate to Chapter 3: behind the counter. Working in retail does not require much, if any, skills. The only skills which are needed, and what hiring is based on, are people skills. Page seventy in Schlosser discusses jobs being “de-skilled” and page sixty-eight talks about teenagers being the main work force and relying on part-time. Teenagers and people in their early teens with willingness to work for low wage makes it less expensive to hire them, and the job being in retail does not require much experience makes it easy for those businesses to justify the “low-wage.” I’m going to talk about what the customer do see and what they don’t see. For example, do they know the people in the back have special boards to fold the shirts uniformly in size? That every hour a list of what has been sold in the previous hour is printed out and that we have people to look for those things in the back and bring it on the floor, and that perhaps there is an hierarchy in the store? Page eighty-four in “Fast Food Nation” talks about closing and robbery. I think I am also going to mention these topics in my hypertext. I couldn’t really relate to the meat-packing chapter besides “The Worst” section (pg. 176-178). It talks about all the bad things the cleaners have to go through at night. Retail is not that bad by far, but I’m considering mentioning what the least favorite parts of working at the store were.

ESSAY 2

The topic I will probably write about for my hypertext essay #2 is working at the movie theaters. I have never worked at the movie theaters but I do know some people who have worked there so I could set up an interview with them to get a better feeling of what it's like to work there. I really wished I could have picked a topic that relates to me directly, but the only low wage job I’ve work at is at my aunt's work place as a student worker. I found that that topic is a little too hard to research and develop. Through my own observations, I have noticed that teens practically run, own and operate movie theaters. I found this similar to how teens run and operate fast food restaurants (schlosser, 67-68).
I have also noticed that many of these laborers are unskilled and perhaps uneducated. I could talk about one scenario in my hometown where a girl with Down syndrome works. She’s been there for a long time now. This could be seen as a positive for the movie theater reputation because they are providing handicapped people some means of work. This is another topic "fast food nation" talks about (schlosser, 68, 70-71).
I am also going to talk about the benefits one gets for working at the movie theaters and if it’s worth it or not. This topic will eventually lead to wage and the question, where does all the movie theater money go? In “Nickel and Dimed” Ehrenreich says that the maid company gets $25 per person-hour while the workers only get $6.65 (72). This is similar to the movie theater scenario, because the movie theater charges almost $10 for tickets and a lot of money for food, but only pay there workers a small amount of that. I’m going to research statistics such as percent of teens working at movie theaters versus adults, I’m going to look up the different positions and the pay they earn and I’m going to try to get other’s experience on the matter. I know that the wage these workers earn are definitely not fair considering the amount of work they have to do, cleaning the theaters after each showing, and serving costumers, which can get very hectic. Another idea that is in “fast food nation” is that workers are sent home when the work flow is low to keep from paying workers more than they need (74). This is the same for movie theater workers. Hopefully I can get enough information to make a good hypertext essay.

The child labor force in the garment industry of Los Angeles

The second hypertext essay will provide me the opportunity to focus on an aspect of low wage labor that has greatly impacted me as well as all Americans that rely on manufactured products. The low wage labor force is a prominent part of the U.S. economy. They do the jobs that keep our country running. More specifically, the apparel industry is quite important to the American consumer. This industry is sustained by garment workers, often newly arrived from torn countries in hopes of making a better life in the states. Much like George (pg. 37) in Erhrenreich’s “Nickel and Dimed,” where the Czech dishwasher was taken advantage of and eventually fired because he was new to the country and did not understand how to fend for himself, many garment workers experience the injustices that come forth when their lack of experience in the country is exploited. This is horrible enough, yet the severity of the low wage labor problem in the garment industry is further exacerbated when children are introduced to the working environment. Often working to support their families, children endure deplorable conditions when they should be earning an education by attending school. This is a problem occurring all over the world yet it surprises me that it occurs so frequently in the United States! I would like to focus my project by examining the child labor force in the garment industry of Los Angeles. By narrowing my topic to this defined focus of child labor in Los Angeles sweatshops, I hope to bring forth new insights on this widespread issue.

The three books present different ways with which to illustrate the experiences of low wage workers. Schlosser relies mostly upon research to represent their experiences while Barbara Ehrenreich puts herself in low wage situations to fully experience and understand what low wage laborers are going through. Yet another means to gain experiential insight is through interviews, which Shipler uses quite effectively. I find that all are beneficial to an effective hypertext essay. Although the books do not give insight into my specific topic, I feel that the way in which they revealed experience is important to take into account.

hypertext #2

My second hypertext essay is going to be a report of the lives which are lead by the immigrant farm workers here in the United States. Whether they are legal citizens or not, they are all living a very low wage life, and are probably working harder than almost anyone in the country, but getting paid the least for it. Now, people can argue that they deserve to be paid the least for multiple reasons. However, it doesn’t change the fact that they go through serious hardships everyday. What would you think if somebody told you that you had to go out and pick weeds everyday for the next fifty years of your life? Not only that, but you were going to be paid either minimum or under minimum wage for this work. No United States citizen would accept this, but yet they still scoff at the immigrant worker in the fields. They laugh, but in the back of their minds, they know that they could never do what they are witnessing out in the fields. Most of the field workers we see in California are illegal immigrants. A report from the LA Times states, “More than 70% of U.S. farmworkers are estimated to be illegal immigrants.”

Eric Schlosser makes the claim on p. 176 that the worst and most dangerous jobs in the meatpacking industry are usually done by illegal immigrants. Well, this is also true for field workers. The work they do is sure to injure the workers, and simply put, they have the worst jobs in the country. Nobody, and I mean nobody, would look forward to a day working in the fields for almost no money. Since hardly any American citizens are willing to do these jobs, and the jobs must get done, employers turn to immigrants to do the work. They then take advantage of these employees by firing them without some of their wages or give them less than they are legally entitled.

I think this is a huge topic to discuss, and I plan on limiting it down a bit. I also feel like it is a good topic because it has a lot of relevance to the issues going on right now, but it has also been a problem for the last century and a half here in the United States.

hypertext 2

I had two topics in mind for the second hypertext essay. The first would be about immigrant farm workers in the United States. I am interested not only in their working conditions, but also in the way they are treated socially. I am interested in how they are affecting the U.S. communities socially, economically, and politically. This is very interesting to me, because of the different opinions people have on this subject. I know that some economists believe that immigration helps the economy more than it hurts it, and that the immigrants need to get paid more money. I want to research all aspects of this subject. In addition, I know that due to a lot of the fires in southern California, many workers are left homeless and jobless. I want to research how easy/hard it is for them to get jobs. I work with kids whose parents are immigrant workers in my arupe placement and that is another reason why this is an interesting topic to me.

My second topic is foster parenting as a source of low wage income. I am interested to learn how much money they make, why parents do it, and so on. I want to learn if parents take on foster children simply so they can make money, and if the money they make is enough to support the kids they take in. Are the parents and kids offered benefits like health and dental insurance? I am also interested in learning how the kids are affected by living in foster homes and the socioeconomic status of the families they move in with. This also got me interested in looking at social workers as having low wage jobs. I am passionate about both subjects, so I’m not sure which topic I want to use yet.

Hypertext 2

I intend on writing about low wage workers within the restaurant setting. Drawing from my experience working in a coffee shop, I want to look at the issue as objectively as I can, studying the situations that workers are often in when they have to live on a minimum wage budget. Also, I want to look at how, perhaps mathematically like Shipler does on page 36 at how budgeting happens in contrast to how it theoretically works. More importantly, I want to look at ways that people try to and do get out of low wage situations, and what people have tried and things that haven’t worked.

It seems that the real gap in this area has to do with ways out. Ehrenreich is not actually poor; she can afford to take care of emergency medical situations, can go home when it suits her. Comparatively, Shipler points out the people who have to move from home to home, apartment to homeless, just to try to get government aid (p. 60). He also points out the cycles that people are forced into when living in poverty, where poverty keeps them from going anywhere, and anywhere they go they still suffer from the effects of poverty (p. 26, 27, 53, for examples). I will try to focus on opportunities to escape poverty, created by individuals, by organizations and by the government. I also want to see how effective each different method/genre of methods has been, whether it works, doesn’t work, temporarily works. Shipler has a few examples of people, who through being careful or through luck get out of their tough situations (p. 21, 23, 29-30, 31 for examples).

Another place to add some information and research would be examples similar to Shipler’s on H&R Block, and how the poor get “screwed” out of their money, and other companies that find ways to extort them (p. 16-19 for examples).

Hypertext #2

I have two different ideas for my second hypertext essay which I have had personal experience with both. My first topic I was going to consider was nannying as a low wage job. Most people consider nannying to be a women’s job. Rooted in the stereotype that that women are first and foremost mothers or the primary caretakers, nannying has attracted majority of women to the job. I recently have started working as a nanny for two separate families that live in fairly wealthy areas. The parents of both the families work all day. I pick the children up from school, make them a snack or meal depending on the time of day, help them do their homework, and help clean around the house if I have time. I get paid a little amount of money, but as a college student, I will take what I can get. In between being a full time student with hard classes and homework, it is hard to find a well-paying job for the minimum amount of hours I can work. For my other topic, I was considering talking about non-profit organization work as a low-wage job. I have worked for quite a few of these organizations. I have worked for Big Brothers and Big Sisters of Santa Clara County by doing both office work and being a mentor for a young child needed a role model. I also have worked for the Canary Foundation which is an organization researching ways to detect cancer early. The people who work for these organizations do not get paid or are paid a small amount of money to raise awareness for particularly important aspects of society. For my first hypertext essay, I had written on the awareness of issues that concern saving our oceans. I included in my essay the organizations that have raised the level of awareness on this topic and pushing it to the forefront of concern both nationally and globally. I want to research on how these non-profit organization/activist groups are funded in their low-wage job. In writing my essay, I liked the shock factor related to Schlosser’s writing in Fast Food Nation. When I read the two different topics of working in fast food chains and slaughterhouses, I had such a build up of emotion ranging from intrigue to disgust. I hope to invoke that same shock factor into my writing.

Maids as Low Wage Workers

The summer after I turned eighteen I worked at my grandfather’s hotel as a desk clerk and we had to have a lot of interaction with the maids. We were in constant contact with them in order to determine whether the rooms were clean so that we could check people into them. Everyday, the head of the maid staff would force feed me a large variety of Mexican food. The break room was a place where race didn’t matter and people of all classes and positions in the hotel business. The hierarchy of the hotel is one that depends on each other for the business to thrive.

The owners: The specific hotel that I worked at was built by my uncles, owned by my grandfather and managed by my dad. It is very strange to see your family members in different situations than what you usually experience with them. As soon as my grandfather or father would walk in, the hotel would become the perfect environment with the manager rushing up to them and shaking their hands and saying “Hello, Mr. Barrack.” I was even more shocked when Stephanie, a girl that I worked with at the desk told me, “Your dad is scary.” This experience caused me to see these men that played with me when I was little and cared for me in a completely different way.

The maids at the hotel that I worked at were in a different situation from the ones in big hotel chains because it was not a unionized hotel. It was a small, privately owned hotel. Celina was the head of the maid staff. She started working for my grandfather at one of the older hotels and when the newer one was opened he offered her the job. Her daughter was Stephanie who worked at the front desk with me. The maids worked from 6:30 to 3:00 when all of the rooms needed to be clean for check-in. The hotel was relatively small so a pair of maids would cover a hallway.

I would like to use the methods that Ehrenreich used in her book “Nickel and Dimed” by telling my hypertext like a story instead of a list of facts and analyses. I plan to tell the individual stories of some of the people who I worked with and describe the interactions between the different hierarchies of the hotel business.

Topic: Legal Mexican Immigrant Farm Labor in Southern California

For my second hypertext essay, I would like to focus on the labor of legal Mexican immigrants on farms in the United States, specifically Southern California. My plans changed from child labor after I went on a trip to Santa Barbara last weekend. There was a constant amount of farmland beyond what I had imagined (for whatever reason) the entire way. Every so often there was a bus parked towing a trailer with 3 port-a-potties that I inferred to be the practical transportation system of day labor in the modern farming industry. We also took a random exit for gas that took us quite a distance off the freeway, where I we ran into a small residential area, maybe 50 yards by 50 yards, consisting of small concrete shelters in which I imagined the people that work out of the buses sleep at night. The sight was exactly as I remembered the small communities in Africa when on a family vacation, except I was in America.

This sight alone really got me thinking about the true low wage life of immigrant workers in Southern California. My father brushed it off as necessary temporary living but I find that to believe. As Ehrenriech pointed out, such low wages cannot support health needs that every human being encounters, not to mention barely providing for daily essentials. I want to focus on legal immigrants working in these conditions because these people are coming to our country in a respectable fashion, seeking prosperity through their own tenacity, and having it all shoved back in their faces in the form of horrible working conditions. It is interesting how effectively this phenomenon is described as the result of the white exodus in Fast Food Nation. A once republican economic utopia has transformed into a liberal economic hell for those at the bottom of the barrel, who actually constitute a majority of the population but are simply crushed by legal but unethical strategies for labor.

If in researching this topic, I find that legal Mexican immigrants are actually a very small minority of this workforce which may be mostly illegal immigrants, I will change it to illegal immigrants seeing as the focus is their low wage life, not the ridiculous but legal conditions in which they came to it.

hypertext essay 2

After reading Eric Schlosser’s Fast Food Nation I was very disturbed, yet, very awakened to the dangerous lives that many employees of the meat packing industry live. I could not believe some of the personal accounts, or mere statics that Schlosser encountered. People suffer severe injuries or even die in doing some of the jobs that the industry requires. People die without much recognition, and even though laws have become sterner, accidents still occur often. Limbs are lost, chemicals are inhaled, skin is damaged, health diminishes, and yet these workers continue to put their time and efforts in this industry, that they themselves, believe acknowledges and respects their employers. However in reality, their employers often falsify records and data so they do not have to report missed workdays. Even the work, the wages, the benefits are pathetic. But these low-waged workers, (which about 150,000 have been injured), are forced to accept the risks because many of these employees are uneducated, immigrant, unskilled, people just looking for a job.
As I did a quick research on the meat packing industry, not only did I see tons of pictures depicting the work environment, but I also saw the life-long injuries that will forever remain on that person’s body and the grotesque body’s of dead animals crudely hanging from hooks. Not only can people argue that this job is very dangerous for the employees themselves, but they can hit another angle of the spectrum by realizing that the killing of animals in the slaughterhouses is very cruel and disgusting. The top 4 companies that control 85% of the meat packing market in America, slaughter about 400 cattle an hour mainly because of the invention of machines to make everything run faster, (even worse for the workers because they try to keep up with the machines and are more susceptible to injuries in this way).
But still people demand meat, and it somehow must be produced, even if it costs someone’s arm and a leg. I do eat meat myself, but I think that a movement is needed to be able to better the benefits, or the work environment, of these workers, to make it a safer and healthier place. And although people have become vegetarians to protect animals, the desire for meat will always survive. I suggest that we fight for the rights of these meatpackers and we try to reduce the number of animal’s slaughter. I don’t think we should try to shutdown meatpackers because of the millions of jobs that people would lose, (even cattle raisers), but I definitely think there is something that needs to be done to help employees voice their opinions and fight for better life.

I have decided to write about slaughterhouse workers for my hypertext essay #2. Schlosser’s chapter, “The Most Dangerous Job,” offers plenty of factual information, including court cases, demography, and personal accounts. Schlosser has also witnessed a slaughterhouse first hand, making a valid and very valuable source. I want to focus mostly on people’s stories, both good and bad, to allow the reader, as well as myself, to have an opinion. At the same time, I want to be able to incorporate certain historical events (even though they may be minor) into the hypertext, much like Schlosser. There is much to be said about slaughterhouse workers and slaughtered animals alike, being treating inhumanely. I’d like to get both sides, from the workers and supervisors, but it should focus on workers, since they are subject to the low-wage life. This can be approached from a scientific point of view, as there are many injuries and diseases that occur. It can also be approached from a sociological and anthropological point view, relating to real life experiences. A business perspective may add to the big picture as well as some of the processes that go on. It’s obvious from Schlosser’s information slaughterhouse workers do dirty and dangerous work, with little compensation. With only making about a two cent profit off each pound of meat, the meatpacking industry is looking for more ways to cut cost, such as denying medical compensation, reducing fines from OSHA by not logging injuries, and hiring illegal immigrants, who can’t do much about their pay or medical coverage. From the worker’s perspective, the Industry sacrifices the well being of their workers for profit, which is understandable if you’re trying to make money, but putting human lives is not a fair trade.

Hypertext essay #2

In The Working Poor Shipler discusses Koreans who immigrate to the US and become janitorial contractors (pg.20). The reason that they are drawn so easily into this is that most Koreans come over with a strong family base in which they can borrow money from. I would like to address this branch of low-wage work in my next hyper-text essay. The main focus would be on how this type of work is set up to draw certain kinds of people in and how they are then forced into the work cycle. I would especially like to focus on those who do janitorial services for large corporate businesses, mainly immigrants. I have decided on this topic for two main reasons. The first is that I always feel bad when I see janitors, mainly in school, cleaning up messes that should not have been made in the first place and probably could have been cleaned up within five minutes by the mess-maker themselves. Instead, we leave the mess behind, knowing that it will be gone by the next day, not really caring how it happens or who has to do it. The second reason is that in my own jobs I have worked in smaller businesses where you have to clean up after yourself and just tend to do it. I have also seen how easy it is to get in the habit of not doing this simple thing, especially when every one else around you leaves their messes behind. I think it would be interesting to look at not only the affect that this service has on those that perform it, but also on those who take it for granted.

Hypertext #2

For my second hypertext essay, I will focus on the small-town commercial fishing industry. Coming from a small fishing port, I have seen my entire life the struggles and dangers that fishermen face on a daily basis. They work in awful conditions, often out on boats for weeks or months at a time, and are never guaranteed that they will even get paid. Except for the elite few captains who control the industry and do extremely well, fishing is a consuming and often fruitless occupation. Fishermen (and women) leave their families constantly, traveling out into stormy waters to face bone chilling temperatures on unreliable boats, never positive that they will make it back to shore safely. From unsafe hooks and nets that can easily tangle a person and throw them to sea, the idea of sinking to the bottom of the ocean is never free from a fisherman’s mind. In the past ten years or so the industry has taken a severe hit, especially in my own town. Independent fishermen struggle to compete with huge corporations as well as the many regulations and taxes being placed on the industry. To explore this topic, I hope to employ the research quality of Schlosser and the personal connections of Ehrenreich’s work, and to help the reader to become more aware of the faults in America’s views of low-wage workers, as Shipler does.
My hypertext essay will show the fishing industry’s low-wage majority, as well as the few who are able to do well. I will explore the conditions of working on the boats, the actual income of an average independent commercial fisherman, and the group of men and women who have had to find other low-wage jobs because of the fishing industry’s degeneration. For many in the industry, fishing is all they know how to do. Most smaller fishing ports do not have another main source of income or industry, forcing those who cannot make it at sea to simply move to land’s low-wage work. In some ways, fishing is much like gambling. These men and women put their lives as well as their finances on each journey out of the harbor, and they rarely can beat the odds.

Proposal for Hypertext #2

Through reading these books, my eyes have been really opened to how destitute and poor some people really are. I was really moved by the story of Sarah and Willie (pages 36-37) about how they seem like a family who is succeeding, but has nothing saved in the bank, that they're just scraping by. I've begun to want to shape my essay around why people struggle the way they do; in the case of Sarah and Willie in particular, they made a point about how he "could" be living better if he saved his money, but that the both of them never really do. The comment he makes on pg 37 about $10 in his pocket and ice cream is very explanatory of the issue i really want to investigate and learn more about. I'm not too sure as to how i want to approach this issue, but i want to learn about the level of living that i've never experienced. I'm going to incorporate interviews with people living in san jose, and i also want to talk to people about how they got out of poverty, like my father and others have. I plan on using Ehrenreich's writing and her experience as a transition for my paper as a person who has lived the high life without any knowledge of the lower economic spectrum as well. I have some personal experience with low wage working, but in terms of low wage living i don't. I want to use my experience of working for a low wage to give my opinion on a low-wage life as well.

Healthcare Probems In America

I like the use of navigation links at the top of the page, it makes it clear and easy to navigate through the site. I like how the color scheme and layout of the pages are uniform, it makes the site very clear. However, I think a different choice of colors could make the site look a bit more professional. Overall it looks good tho and you're doing a great job

The Criminal Life

I really like the pictures and the color scheme. Each page is designed well and I like the use and placement of the pictures. Links could be added from one page to the next to make the site a little easier to navigate. Overall, the design is appealing and looks good, good job!

The Value Of SCU

I like the use of the pictures and the exclamation "look at the school who wouldn't want to go here!" This comment effectively introduces the reader to the topic of the piece. The pictures on the page could be centered or organized a bit more interestingly. The author could include internal links within the pages, in the writing, to make the page look a bit more advanced. I like the use of the different voices, students and parents, used to make the author's point. good job!

Volunteering

I love the energy of your site. It is really easy to navigate and the text isn't just paragraphs pasted into the site. My favorite page is the one with all of your experience and the pictures. I wish you luck with the printable version. I think working on that amount of text will develop your page even more. Though it might take some more research. Good luck, your site is successful.

concept of success

i like the colors and the buttons on the top or the page. the website is very simple and easy to navigate. although these colors are a little dark, it's still readable and is easy on the eyes, it's good after looking at other website with white backgrounds (it makes me want to stay at this website longer). the only things that i would say needs work on is adding more pictures and making it easier to navigate to your other pages like your course work page and splash page.
i think that your essay is good, and i agree with you when you say that the concept of success has changed! other than that good job!

The Value of SCU

Your first page is clear- the reader knows exactly what you are going to be talking about. then when we start going through the pages we go along with you and what you think about the value of scu. I like how you include a parents point of view but i encourage you to invesitgate more, see if you can actually publish the interview in Q-A format. I like how you give us your point of view, then the schools, and then the parents. you cover all the bases. but maybe see if you can interview a company that tends to hire scu students upon graduation- ask them what is it about santa clara students that make them so successful. i think your site is off to a great start- you have a good mix of text, video and pictures. but i encourage you to continue adding text along the way. good luck

THE DEBILITATING STIGMA OF MENTAL ILLNESS

The opening page of your hypertext essay is really great! I liked your color scheme, the placement of your navigation bars, and it is really well organized. Also, you have a lot of great images, but they are not overpowering or distracting. I like the way that you separated text throughout your hypertext by using tables and columns--this allows the reader to have more control over what he or she decides to read which goes a long with the whole non-linear layout of a good hypertext. Everything looks and sounds really great, however, the "Statistics" page might benefit from having an image or two. Overall, this looks really good!

THE CRIMINAL LIFE

I think that you have done a very good job on your site. The topic is interesting and your splash page really grabs the readers attention. There is alot going on but at the same time it doesn't seem clustured or crowded. As for the content I think that you have a lot of useful and interesting info. Overall I think you have a very interesting topic and a great webdesign

Religion vs. Mythology

You did a great job with the navigation and organization of your site. You included links within the text, but no so many that it became distracting. You did a nice job of separating your text strategically to convey your point, and the pictures make your site interesting. The only thing I would suggest to you is that you make the table on each page a certain percent of screen, because I found that I had to scroll left and right to see everything on the page. That's really minor in comparison to your whole site. Good job.

santa clara university and the environment

your main point is clear cut and your site is well organized. there's consistency throughout the pages and i like how you mention a club available to join on campus. it's a very clean and simple web design, which i like because there isn't any clutter at all. your writing on the pages aren't intimidating and makes me want to read all of it and not go skimming through. i liked your joining links a lot because i actually wanted to click on them, like the "solution" one in "Students and recycling." i like and i dont like how i have to click home each time to get to the main menu, i dont really have a solution to that one, but overall i think it is a good start.

Working Mothers

First off let me say that i think this is a really good topic to explore. it is a topic that gets harder and harder to deal with, with each new generation of working moms.
Anyways, few notes:
- i encourage you to experiment more with the format of your hypertext, the same form has consistency but can loose the readers interest
-use more pictures. do not underestimate the power of pictures to illustrate your points
- vary the layout of your pages- be creative, let your pages express yourself as an author
-i think the interviews hold a lot of potential- good luck with those
-i like the support page
-good luck...this site has a lot of potential. have fun with it

Student Athletes Work Ethic

Your page is sleek and clean cut. Though each of the sections text looks like cut and paste paragraphs from your essay. When I was reading your pages I was curious on what your definition of work ethic was. I feel like school work should come before the sport, yet the page seemed to suggest that athletes were just getting lazy with their own sports. Pictures, I love them, but I didn't see any. I bet you could get some good ones. Maybe an interview would make me more sympathetic. Though it was very easy to navigate and the color scheme worked. It bet it will turn out great in the end.

Localism in Paradise

It seems as though the main point you are making is that Localism on the beaches of Hawaii is dangerous, but necessary. You later give information about proper surf etiquette and even provide a link to specifics (but there is no link available to click on). Continuing through the hypertext, the issue about localism becomes more of an issue about respect - both for the locals, as well as the land and water. Your ideas are strongly linked to one another, which makes for a strong central argument. You also seem to use slang throughout the hypertext, giving it a personal feel, but for someone who has never heard of the slang then maybe you can offer definitions - or a link to a page within your hypertext that gives definitions to the slang that is commonly used both at the beaches and in your hypertext as well. The navigation at the bottom of the pages seems as though it is all one link, until you click each link. Maybe you could space the links out at the bottom of the pages, it's just a suggestion, as I thought it was one link until i started to going through the hypertext.

only children

first off i really like the myths page, although there is a lot of writing, i'm not intimidated by it at all. i like how each myth's title is bigger than the answer because it makes it easier to read; if the reader wants to read it, he/she can but if he/she doesn't find it interesting to them they can easily skip to the next myth heading. i also like the fast facts on the first page because i like to read facts.

the website is very organized and the page layouts are similar which makes the website look more professional. the only thing i didn't really understand was the splash page and topic of choice. on the splash page it says "are only children at a disadvantage" when i read that i thought you were going to talk about some kind of disadvantage for children compared to adults. maybe try "are there disadvantages of being an only child?" but then again, it's a little wordy, so i'm clueless as to what to tell you. sorry =(

i really like the pictures, but on some pages, the text is still a little overwhelming. the "common ways of parenting" page has a lot of words, but there is also a lot of room to space it out so it doesn't look so overwhelming.

i really like the splash page and how it matches the picture, it's also very simple and easy to navigate.

Poor Work Ethic in Student Athletes

I like your site, yet I there are just a couple of issues that would maybe be a ltitle better. Your site has a lot of good information, and is actually related to the site that I am doing. Also, the organization is very good as well, except that for the buttons on your navigation, it takes a double click in order to get to the page that I am trying to get to. Also, your site would really benefit from some sort of attention grabbing intro page, something that locked the reader on to what you were trying to say. I'm probably just going to put some sort of animation or video file in mine, and I think it would work really well on yours. Also, the lack of pictures on your site kind of makes it dark to look at. The addition of pictures would be really beneficial in helping the reader to visualize with their imagination, and maybe even take them back to their own experience. Links to outside pages would also be good as well, but I know that there are very few sites that are related to the topics that are being discussed in your site. I like your site a lot, just make sure to make it a bit more visually interesting and organized maybe in a little bit better way.

Only Children

Great hypertext essay with a very nice design! There are only a couple things to work on. For starters, you need to read through what you have written because I found a few typos that are easily fixable. Also, you need to fix the links that go nowhere because this becomes confusing for the reader trying to navigate your essay. Next, it would be great if you could un-stretch some of your pictures so that they fit inside the table they are in. As far as the writing goes, you include great quotes, in depth information, and outside viewpoints. So basically, great job! If you fix those minor website details, I think your hypertext essay will be complete!

Religion Vs. Mythology

My first thought when glancing over your first page was, "how professional." It looks great! I especially like the way you used the 2 colums to seperate Religion and Mythology. I also like the way you put images and links together--it really helped grab my attention. Your use of tables to seperate text was really great as it goes along with the non-linear layout of a hypertext. However, there was a lot of text. All of it was really valuable, but maybe try to limit it a little bit. Overall, this looks really good!

Cosmetic Industry Commentary

I really like the consistency of your pages. Each page, while the text is different, has the standard pictuers and navigation bar at the bottom, which is good. Your content is very well organized as well, and i really like the link on the last page that is a help page for people to get out of the cosmetic "claw". I also really like the title usage for your links, instead of titleing them something boring, you went for a grab, something like "Price of Perfection", which i thought was very well done.

The only thing i have a little bit against is the size consistency of the font; but really, that's not too big of a deal, and it's a very little thing that can be fixed easily. Other than that, your color scheme is great and is easy to read, and your information is presented very well. My only other comment is that maybe you should have a consistent navigation bar with every site on it, including the one you're currently on. Other than that, great job.

"Skanks"..."Sluts"..."Hoes"

I really like the colors of your page. they are girly and go with the overall theme of your webpage. Your main page is organized neatly where you show all the pages but its kind of boring. I would add maybe a few pictures and like your main overall "question". I like how on all the following pages you lead the viewer through the site by having the NEXT and BACK buttons. this gives the viewer an idea of whats coming up next. One thing i would suggest is to add more personality to the site. you have the same design throughout the entire site- mix it up a bit with pictures, maybe a movie?? something to give the viewer a break from just reading text.
but otherwise your site is off to a great start!

Euthanasia

Pros:
Your site is very interestingly laid out. It is exciting to look at because of your use of color, pictures, placement of text. You have effectively defined the topic and presented issues regarding Euthanasia. You have done some research that contributes to the substance of your site as well.

Improvements:
It would be interesting if you had links to outside sources on the topic. Maybe an interview from someone effected by euthanasia. Also, im sure there are many articles about this topic and many debates have occurred. Maybe you should include political issues regarding this topic. Also, it would be effective to include ways to act on your topic. Maybe a link to a club or organization?

Hope that helps!
Good luck!

Nike Outsourcing

I'm really glad that I got to review your site, because I plan on writing about Nike, or one of those companies for my second hypertext essay. I think you did a really good job, and you have a lot of information on the topic. I also think you have some really interesting pictures. For example, the sla(swoosh)ery picture, and the swoosh piercing a body. I think you should highlight these somehow, because they can be powerful images, but when they are used alongside regular images of Nike, the attention of the viewer is not focused on the image.

Felons re-integrating into society

Very professional, very well done. However the text was very small and very hard to read. Try to fix that. The colors worked well together and I like the common design theme throughout. I dont like the method of making a new design for each page, then it seems like a whole new site. I liked the design and the ease of navigation, just try working on readability

What causes a poor work ethic among student-athletes?

I really like your topic, I think it is one that is very salient in our lives as college students and can develop into a really good project. I think you have a lot of work to do, there is a lot of blank space, but you have a good foundation. I really like your navigation that you emulated after the Apple Homepage. The black on white is very simple, which makes it easy to read and clear. There are a lot of outside links in some of your hypertext paragraphs, but none in the others. I think it is distracting to have too many links to other pages on one webpage. I really like how you titled the navigation, straight and to the point. Each page is consistent with the overall theme, which is very important, so I think you have a great basis. Some more images, perhaps some audio and video components would be helpful in really grabbing the audience's attention.

What are the social consequences of internet communication?

The strongest part about your web-page is the consistency of navigation. No matter which page a person views, the navigation tool-bar remains stationary. I think your strong points are good amounts of information and your own personalized opinion.

I liked your hypertext homepage because it really grabs the attention of the reader. That effectiveness is kind of lost, though, when the reader is forced to scroll down to get to the different pages on your website. Consistency of navigation on all the other pages makes me think that the same format would work on the homepage.

Your essay suffers from a lack of pictures. You have a lot of black, empty space that's punctuated only by bright pink writing. I feel that your site would appear less empty and more calm with the addition of a few pictures. I realize pictures about internet communication are few and far between, but maybe you could find logos of major internet-communication providers. Just a thought.

Good luck!

Healthcare Problems in America

Very good site. Very easy to navigate with loads of information which is very visible and not hard to read or understand. It is presented in a very good way, and the site has enough color and pictures to constantly be keeping the reader's attention. As well as appearing to be a finished site, the content is also very good and the author's point is made to the reader.

Euthanasia

I really liked your web page lay out and design. You have a great color pallet that compliments each together and you have great text boxes that clearly outline what you want to say. The boxes being in different colors are great because they pop out and encourage the reader to read them. I also really like your picture outlines and the ones you chose. I would suggest maybe making your website flow together a little bit more. It seems like your whole page floats and doesn't really have a layout. That could be your personal design preference. I love the way you have your links clearly marked in the center and i like they way you have all your pictures labeled. Great work!!

Society's desensitization to the demeaning titles frequently used to describe women

I think you have a good topic that a lot of women would be interested in. Your design choices are very nice for a topic about women. Your title is very gripping and will get a lot of people to glance at and then read your website. Your writing is very interesting and I am sure will be turned into a great linear essay, however I feel like a few things could make it a more effective hypertext. You could have links to all the pages avalible to the readers at all times. Some of your pages just have essentially a "next link" which makes the reader forced to go through page by page. With some tweeking of that and some more links within the text I think your website can be fun, informative, and easy to navigate. Good Job!

Convicted Felons Re-integration

Your website is very powerful. the colors and the set-up convey a very serious tone, one that presents the information in a way that is both relevant to you as a person as well as society as a whole. The quotes before each passage also go a long way in making an interesting read. I really was looking forward to reading your uncle's story, but unfortunately the picture link did not work. Also, the basic needs part of the website is very informative, and opened my eyes in a new way, yet I think you might be able to organize the information in a certain way that would be more catching rather than a list view. Maybe a type of table or maybe even an animation that catches the eye would be really good at this point of your site. The links page of your site is alright, yet the links do not work in going to those places actual homepages. Also, are there any websites that are actually linked to helping out prisoners who have recently been released? That would help make your site functional towards people who want to help. All in all, I really like you site, and I think it gives a very strong viewpoint in a clear tone that I enjoyed reading.

Working Mothers in America

One of the pages had nothing on it, i assume that you're working on that. Seems very bland, no pictures, no different coloring, nothing new all the way through it. Seems like you just copy and pasted individual paragraphs from a linear essay. Try linking, getting images, or doing something with the design other than a paragraph simply floating in space

Convicted Felons in Society

Your site was very orderly and very easy to navigate. Though within the specific pages I lost track of where I was once. Maybe there can be a label within each specific section. The clean cut way of your site made it a little bland to look at. Though I really did enjoy what I read when it came down to it. I think the best point of yours was on the social needs of convicts. The overall affect is calm, yet I've never though of convicts in society as a clam topic.

Santa Clara Environment Commentary

I really liked the color scheme of your site. It's very simple, and it gives the site a very informative aura about it. In addition, i also actually learned some new things about what Santa Clara does here for recylcing; things like the recycle trivia raffle among others. I also really like your solution for Santa Clara to give students money for thier recycling; I actually did alot of research, and i proposed a solution/company that would handle this for my Business 72 class last fall quarter. Your site is also very easy to read and to follow, and you really don't feel like you're being overwhelmed at all on any of the pages.

You do have two navigation bars, which is kinda interesting i think... you have two Home links, one at the top and one at the bottom, you might wanna fix that, not too sure though. Other than that, your site is pretty good... very informative and very simple, which i really like.

Social Consequences of Internet Communication

I think your subject is very interesting and relevant to our internet-obsessed world. I agree with many of the points you made about how this internet culture is affecting us. You also have great vantage points besides your own. There are a few things to improve on however. Your hypertext essay feels more like a linear essay, but split up into sections. You need to add more incoming links inside your text and perhaps split up the text more so that your paragraphs are not so huge. For example, on your "Outside Perspectives" page, you have 2 large paragraphs, no pictures, and one link to the "Who's Affected" page that you already linked to in the previous page. It would be great if you also included different types of media, such as the actual interviews with the two subjects, or maybe just direct quotes from them. Overall, great job though!

American Dream Hypertext

Pros:
- Intro page is very minimalistic which is good.
-The home page has a good synopsis of the rest of your ideas and pages.
-The design and usage of flash buttons is very effective.

Improvements:
The design of your page is very effective. yet, it would be helpful if you revised some of your content to explain HOW our concept of success has changed with reference to the American Dream. You have set up many definitions and explanations that are important to your point but you have yet to have an actual stance on your topic. I understand that you are not completely finished but I wanted to point this out anyway. it seems that you have spread a lot of text over many different pages. Be thinking of ways to make your text more interactive. Also, be thinking of way for for your readers to get involved in your topic.

Good job!

Mental illness

Quick notes:
-the coloring of the text is sometimes hard to read bc it is too close to the background color
-good use of pictures. they are powerful and illustrate your points
-your navigation bar moves around which can be confusing...especially when it is at the way bottom of the page
-unfinished pages
-good how can you help page...way to motivate the reader
-i like your media page- good point to make- interesting story
-nice connection to personal experience
-better organization of text- split it up so its easier to read..the information is good!
in all, great job, good idea. i think this is an issue that is taboo in our society that needs to be brought to light..well done!!

Felons reintegrating into society

Your navigation and color scheme is great, I really like how the background color of the links change when you scan over them. It does seem like there is a lot of empty space near the right bottom of the splash page, that could maybe make use of an image or quote or something. I do like how you pose the question initally, and then answer it throughout your hypertext. I really like how you used a list in the Basic Needs section of your hypertext, it really grabbed my attention and I think you made a really good use of links and outside sources. Your hypertext made your point very clear to me, without very many distractions. I really like the simplicity of your website and I think it is very effective.

NIKE OUTSOURCING

The opening page of your hypertext essay is great. I love the color scheme and the fact that when you trace the mouse over the two images they change. It is organized well and hooks the readers interest quickly.
I really liked the way you used colors and tables to seperate text. It gives the reader a certain amount of control in what he/she reads, which is a key characteristic of a hypertext! You also have a lot of great images, but they are not overpowering nor do they distract the reader from the main focus of your essay. However, the "Customers Say" page is very different from the other pages of your hypertext. Maybe try and connect it visually with the others. But overall this looks like a really cool project!

beauty and the beast

your main point is pretty clear cut if your hypertext is on how the media influences adolescent girls and their thoughts on their appearances. i like the title page of your hypertext because of its colors and it gives a clear idea on what your writing is going to be on. the website is well organized and is clearly consistent throughout. it was easy to read because the font color contrasted with the background color, and it seemed like all the colors pulled ur site together. sometimes i got confused to which links i had already clicked because the links didn't change color. at first look of each page, i wasnt intimidated to read it because the paragraphs were short, but sometimes i would scan because the writing would go all the way across the page. your page is very easy to navigate through, minus the links changing color once visited, which I like a lot.

Nike Outsourcing

First of all, this is a great subject. Interesting all around, and you did a great job of clearly stating the facts that encompass your whole subject. I like the red and black theme and the use of links at the top of the page. Though I like the red and black (staple of Nike) I think the checkered board colors take away from the text. Also, some of the links within links can lose viewers. Make sure their are easy ways back to the page of the the second link. Otherwise, it looks like you know your stuff. Pretty awesome.

"Make-Up"

Your hypertext page is very cohesive and easy to use. I like the formatting of your navigation, especially the diagonal 'main' navigation. The links embedded in the text work very effectively. The color scheme is unique and effective as well.

I think your site suffers a bit from lack of imagery. The color scheme would support almost any color of picture, and I believe you'd much more easily get your point across about the hassles of make up if you, say, had a picture of a disgruntled made-up girl.

I like how you talk about why girls wear make-up. I can't really tell, though, whether you're opposed to the application of make-up or not. I know you say it's expensive and a hassle, but would you prefer there was no such thing as make up?

I also feel like you're missing out on talking about the issue from different points of view. Maybe you could find information about how make-up artists feel, or talk about make-up in the fashion industry or in television.

Good luck!

how relationships are affected by the internet

i really like the layout of the website, it is simple yet stands out (i like the bright colors, so the pink on the black really gets my attention). i liked the vantage points page, because although there is a lot of writing, making them points make it easier to read and make me want to read it. i also like how the last link is a link that offers solutions to prevent people from living in such a technical world.

i think that this draft definitely answers the main topic stated on the splash page, it is also organized very well and is easy to navigate. each link is very clear so i know what topic will be talked about next.

you should maybe try inserting more pictures within the text like the "who's affected" page, that may make it a little less overwhelming for the reader. break up the writing somehow to make it look less like an essay. some pages don't have any pictures. here's a few design errors i found: the links on the splash page are in a different order than the other pages, it made me a little confused, also the border on some pages are white, did you mean to do that or did you want them all pink?

the splash page clearly tells me what will be in the pages to come, very well done!

a lot of the time i just got stuck reading because there was a lot of writing (not that it was choppy or unclear or anything).

the thing that pops out the most is the part about chatting and how you must guess at what others are trying to say and how they are trying to say it because it realates a lot to me. i like that the reader can relate to the writer!

IS THERE REALLY A PROBLEM WITH THE TUITION HERE

I feel that your site has alot of potential. I really like your topic, the question of how much an education is worth has been and still is on every college students minds. I also like the design of the site. Though it still seems to be in the construction process, it looks very clean. In terms of the content, I think you raise some really good questions. Only question is where you got your info for topic responses. Other than that I think you have a great project ahead of you.

Oahu's South Shore Localism

you have a very effective site. the intro page is simple but invites the viewer into the sight to explore your theme more. Your 2nd page does a good job explaining what you will be talking about and i like how you like "localism" at the bottom to where you define exactly what it is. Another effective thing i noticed was the video of the "extreme localism". although this is extreme it does help to emphasize you point of localism. my favorite part of your page would have to be at the end when you talking about Unity & coming together. i think this is a great way to help teach future tourists going to hawaii how they need to be respectful of the land but at the same time speaks out to the locals in hawaii. that by coming together & uniting, everyone is able to enjoy the natural beauty of hawaii.

a few things i would watch out for:
- sometimes you use profane language... you don't necessarily know who your audience will be, so you might want to censor some of your language. i think you can still be effective in getting your point across without cursing.
- font colors: on a couple pages the font was hard to read bc it was too dark with the black background.

great job!

Cosmetic Industry

The background really keeps this site looking professional. I am a big fan of keeping the background all one color throughout the majority of the site. The black especially highlights the bright photos. I like the external links at the end of your hypertext, but maybe add a few links within the text of each topic. I don't know. That's all preference.

Oahu's South Shore Localism

Your topic of localism isn't something I have thought of before. As new to the topic I find your website informative and easy to explore. You clearly define the term and have interesting pictures that I could look at all day. You have a text amount on most pages that is easy to tackle. On just a few pages you have a larger block of text, maybe you could break this up with some pictures? Perhaps you could also spread out the links on the bottom of your site to make them more independant of one another. Overall- great website!

Volunteer: Why Get Involved?

It seems as though your main point of this hypertext is to get people to think about volunteering their time to help others, as you have done yourself. In your hypertext you ask the reader many questions to inspire them to volunteer their time, and you also give them the information necessary to do such (via the Volunteer Opportunities page, local and abroad). You also give a personal story of what you have done when you volunteered your time. I like how your navigation makes the reader want to click and learn more ("So what's holding you back", "Don't just sit there...", "Help yourself"). Also, the hypertext itself does flow and all the points you are making help strengthen your overall theme of volunteering. The pages themselves do not seem as though they are heavy with text, and the spacing and other media you have incorporated into it have helped to accomplish this.

The Criminal Life

I think this site is one of the most well put-together sites so far. Every page is filled with not only information but pictures which grab the reader. I don't have much criticism for it, except maybe to use more types of media for the site to keep the reader's attention. A video clip or music would be a good idea. This would also help to show the reader what you are saying, instead of just telling them through the text.

Working Mothers in America

I really like the colors that you have on your site and the organization, but I think that you could use a little bit more on the variation between sites and also maybe some more pictures and other media in order to spice it up a bit. Some parts also don't work, but you know that and I'm sure its just a technological issue, especially on the affects on children page. I also liked the fact that your website is very simple, but it seems like you have a lot of extra space in which I feel like there could be some points where you would be better served adding a little but more writing. The fact that you added some places where you can find some of the employers who work towards your goal , but it would be good to jsut make sure that all of those top ten that you listed are linked to the actual companies homepage. Also, just make sure your writing all makes sense in the form of this hypertext essay, because some of it seems just a ltitle bit out of sync with other parts, like in the taking care of yourself section. All in all, I like your site, it just needs a little something to really grab the attention of the reader, be authoritative and bold. Some big headings, maybe some inspiring photos, would be very helpful into making your site and eye-catcher.

Religion vs. Mythology

I think that the topic for this site is amazing. It is interesting, creative and unique. It is an important thing to discuss because of its unrealized connection to modern day religion. BRILLIANT IDEA!!!!!!! The purpose of this website is mainly to inform the reader to draw connections. I think that the basic design ideas are well placed but i have a few suggestions. The overall layout is a little bland. it looks like an essay transfered online. I do not think you are using the capabilities of a hypertext. basically- more pages with less writing. on every page, the reader has to scroll down which is fine for a few pages but not all of them. also experiment more with the format. do not be boxed into the box writing no pun intended haha. good luck and did i mention you have a great topic

THE DEBILITATING STIGMA OF MENTAL ILLNESS

This website seems unfinished, some of the pages have obvious blank spots in them. However, it is a good idea and seems like you have a good reason for doing it. For advice: make the navigation a bit more easy. The one line of it at the bottom is orderly, but not exactly easy to follow. Also, try making the text a bit easier to read, red on black is kinda hard on the eyes. Also, be a little more clear on the purpose of your website. You say what it is about and why you care about it, but why should I care? convince me on your intro

Beauty and the Beast

I like how your site was very clean and easy to navigate. There was never too much text on a single page; your points were organized nicely on different pages. I suggest possibly putting up different pictures on the top of each page, to give to reader more of a sense of how the media portrays beauty. I also think you should find a way to put links within the text of your essay, because that is what makes it hypertextual.

Euthanasia Commentary

I really liked the structure of the site; the spreading of the texts in the different boxes was well done, and it made it somewhat easier to read. The navigation bar in the middle of the page worked good as well; however, i would reccommend trying to keep it in the same place and with the same links throughout your website.

The color scheme is somewhat questionable; I'm not saying it's bad, but sometimes it just doesn't seem to fit too well... bright pink and yellow in euthanasia? i'm just not too sure. I like the bright colors because they grab your attention, but at the same time things don't always seem to fit. I do like the fact that each "box" seems to have a single fact in it- this allows for an easier read, and quite honestly keeps the reader interested.
Also, when you're listing or answering questions, try varying your texts; adding italics or bold maybe. These will grab the reader's attention more and will allow them to stay interested throughout your site.

Peer Review of Working Mothers Hypertext

This website is very well organized, and the links are creatively named instead of using boring navigation. The colors complement eachother well and the use of images and text description is something I really liked. The sentences in each page in the hypertext are short and to the point, which is really how people read on the web, so I really liked that. I wasn't able to access almost all of your links so I was only able to read the Affects on the Children hypertext and the pressures of the workplace. I think you could utilize more outside sources as links in your individual hypertext to make your point clearer, while not appearing to use more static text on one page.

Healthcare Problems in the United States

I really like your hypertext essay. The formatting is very clean, and the color scheme is both effective and pleasant. You do an excellent job of viewing the problem from different angles. I especially like the page discussing the differences between US and UK and US and Canadian healthcare systems. It effectively shows the shortcomings of our system.

The "answers" page I felt was a bit disjointed and not well incorporated into the rest of the essay. Maybe just a simple re-labeling, such as "possible answers as to why we do not have universal healthcare in the US". Minor thing, just doesn't specify exactly what the page is about.

Your navigation is clean and effective. I like that I don't need to scroll on any of the pages and that the buttons are (nearly) all in the same place.

I really think your hypertext essay is effective, informative, and useful. So, just a few more little tweaks. Good luck

Santa Clara Helping the Environment

The hypertext is very well researched. The outside texts you use don't overbear your own work, which is perfect. I like the fact that you used school colors, but the spacing between links is a bit awkward. In other words, their is a lot of wasted space. Maybe try keeping the borders of your tables outlined so that words are not just floating. Good job though.

Skanks Sluts Hoes

I thought that your site was very good. The tittle grabs the readers attention right away weather its for the right reason or not. I feel that you have good navigation throughout the site. I like how the navigation directs you to your next point but also allows you to go back to your splash page. The color and photos in your site are well chosen, they grab the readers attention while also portraying a relevant point. Content is good. It kept me interested as well as informed. Overall I think you have done a very good job

What causes a poor work ethic among student-athletes?

I like the subject and the writing on your website. You have a very interesting topic that is salient to many college students. However, the one main problem I see is when I open your window and try to navigate to the different pages, only one paragraph has linked words. Also from what we learned from class today it might help to break up your writing. I think you writing is very well done and is worth reading- so if you make it more reader friendly you can make a larger impact. Maybe you can add an interview or a study about student athletes to bolster your argument Maybe some more images.

Make-Up

Great job on your hypertext essay! I loved your design and your navigation was very easy to use. I just have a few suggestions. In terms of the look, I think you need to add relevant images to at least some of the pages. If you include pictures, your audience will be more captivated and more likely to continue to read your essay. Inside your essay you include many incoming links which are very useful, so that is good as well. Overall in your essay you mostly say just your opinion on how make-up affects those who wear it and the people around them. It would be great to get more viewpoints like the opinion of the big make-up companies. Also, when reading your essay I hear a lot of your voice. Perhaps you should include some quotes from other perspectives and maybe an interview with someone you know who has been affected by wearing make-up.

For "Only Child" Hypertext

You have a VERY effective site.

Good Things:
- The introduction is very clear and concise
- I like the design of your site
- use of different colors and font sizes
- research is effective
-Personal story is applicable and relevant

Improvements:
- You have an obvious stance here and alot of your opinions come from your own experience which is good. Yet, it would be interesting if you had some links to other research and opinions.
- what are the real world applications of your project? How can people become involved? How can we change the way people view this issue?

What is the American Dream?

Overall I thought your website was creative. I love the topic and your opening page is very thought provoking. The roll over image is great and the question posed at the bottom is nice. I would put a more clear link to your actually project than the picture. Maybe the question can be a link. I wasn't so sure i had to click on the picture to enter the rest of the site. In your actual website I really enjoyed the way your links are nicely placed at the top of the site and the way your pages are uniformed. You did a great job embedding the text with internal links. They were strategically placed and nicely thought out. You have great writing, i love that its not an essay and i love that it is like your speaking ot me!! Thats often hard to accomplish but you did it wonderfully. There was a perfect amount of text on each page and it was all nicely laid out. I loved how you had the title of each page at the top of the page, on a couple of pages there was no title and i think it would be a great addition if you were able to do that. Lastly i think i would like to see more color on your website, it might engage the reader more. I also think it would be great it you added some pictures. Other than that great idea and design!!

Giffin and Strain

Points of note from:
Griffin: "Your notation in the paper can link directly to the page with your notes or sources, maybe even directly to the exact reference" i think griffin makes a good point here when he is talking about the advantages of a hypertext. i plan to incorporate this more into my site so that readers can look up where i got all of my information.
Strain: he stresses that "a disoriented reader is probably a reader who's not going to stay long." he comments that even if you have a wonderful site, if a reader cannot navigate it then it doesn't matter how good your site is. Navigation is key to keeping your reader interested in your site. As a result, i will harder to ensure that all my navigational tools are very clear to the reader.

Writing in hypertext

Writing for the Web makes the point that writing in hypertext is similar to regular writing. A good website will have text that is coherent, with varied sentence structures, and shows the reader rather than telling. The only difference is that in hypertext, even if you are a very good writer, the viewers may become bored. To avoid this, large chunks of text should be avoided. I found it interesting that I was becoming bored while reading this site, mainly because it had huge chunks of text. I found myself skimming. You probably don't want this in your site, so breaking up the material into different pages can let the viewer choose what they want to read, and what not to even bother with.

strain and griffith

i really liked strain's website because it was very simple. i liked how almost every page was a different color and the links on the bottom made it look more professional. the only thing bad about this website is that there is a lot of words. griffith's website looked really long, but if you look closer, then you would see that his website is actually just one page and the links at the top just brought you to the top of each title. the other links took me to other websites, but a lot of them didn't work so that wasn't too good. when i design my essay, i will make sure that my links work.

some tips to share:

~ write descriptively, SHOW, DON'T TELL!
~ it's all about variation... mix up the sentence structure & add a little flavor to your web design
~ commit to a point of view- don't use "i think" or "i believe".... be assertive.
~ don't add pointless details.
~ add outgoing & incoming links

"good reading"

I don't want to make my websites have too much writing to the point where the reader is intimidated by how much he had to scroll down to get to the end of the piece. I want to keep my paragraphs short and slim; slim as in the writing doesn't go all the way across the page. I don't want my writing to look like a reasearch paper online and I want to keep my writing as short as possible, but with all the necessary information in it.

While reading the three essays on hypertexts I thought one common element in them that I agree with on them completely is the fact that a hypertext take more planning out and pre-writing. Most people think writing on a website would be easier than writing a paper. however there is so much more planning and thought that goes into a hypertext. I also liked that they discussed the proper medium between well written text and flash and pretty witting. I feel this is a very important medium that many websites have trouble finding. I also agree with the authors that writing descriptively also works very well. Obviously a well written and descriptively well written essay will catch more attention. Lastly I would like to put internal links into my paragraphs to make it more interesting.

Good Writing for Hypertext

From these two articles on good writing in hypertext, the main point I gathered was the huge disparity between hypertext and linear writing. You cannot try to write a hypertext as you would an essay, which is what I have been trying to do. Links to other sources, so you can bring the reader directly to the source that you are discussing is important. Using an introduction as an analysis of a source is also effective. You need to have all components, although they can be different genres of writing, somehow connected to the central theme.

Good Writing for Hypertext

From these two articles on good writing in hypertext, the main point I gathered was the huge disparity between hypertext and linear writing. You cannot try to write a hypertext as you would an essay, which is what I have been trying to do. Links to other sources, so you can bring the reader directly to the source that you are discussing is important. Using an introduction as an analysis of a source is also effective. You need to have all components, although they can be different genres of writing, somehow connected to the central theme.

Site Navigation

Reading Dangs site was very interesting. I found his tips informative and straightforward. I too agree that it is important to determine your purpose, define the potential users of your site, plot a structure for your site, and validate the structure of your site. I think that these tips are very useful for the design, navigation and content of ones website

"Good Writing" for Hypertext

Strain talks about some great tips in general for writing and then gets specific for creative, analytical, and hypertext writing. I definitely need to revise the writing in my hypertext essay to include less 'to be' verbs and passive voice. I also have included "I think" a few times, which Strain says to avoid. And as I said before, I want to include more outgoing links so that more people can have opinions on my page. I did not learn that much from Griffith, although I did like his analogy to the Choose-Your-Own-Adventure stories. Websites are indeed like that because we can click on any link and decide what we want to read. I have enough links on my main page, but I think I will include a few more on some of my other pages.

i like to browse everything before i begin reading. this way i spend more time on things that interest me and less time on things that don't. i like how in deng some suggestions are given to help make my hypertext more "browse-able" by navigation aids and highlighting links. But this also motivates me to make my hypertext interesting all around some viewers wont want to skip anything :)

Strain and Griffith

The biggest thing I got out of these two articles was that content is ultimately the most important part of a hypertext. Yes, it is good to have a good web design that catches the attention of the reader, but ultimately the reader is there at your site to learn something. This can really only happen through good writing, and at least a substantial amount of writing. While too much text can deter the reader, it is important to use links and maps and other web designs to disguise the amount of text that you have. Since it is a hypertext, there really shouldn't be a specific order to the text. This way, the reader can decide when they've read enough. I am going to try and add more text to my hypertext, but use more pages too so it does not appear to be loaded with text and paragraphs of writing.

daaaaaaaaaaaaaang

i liked how everything about dangs website matched. the background had compasses or something and the splash page was pretty cool. i also liked the little ship sailing under the headings. the site was very uniform and there wasn't too much writing so it kept my attention.

Good Writing for Hypertexts

Good writing for hypertexts enables the reader to jump around within a website while the points themselves are related and help support one another. In order to jump around the website though, the points themselves cannot be made to seem linear, that is, each point unites with other points to help the main theme of the website.

Post 3

- "Hypertext" means "non-sequential writing" where the reader has a certain amount of control over the direction and flow of the paper. That can mean many
things. In their simplest form, (in the context of this assignment) hypertext links can serve as a way for you to make "linkages" between what you're talking
about in your essay and other texts or images that are located somewhere else. -Randy Bass, English Department, Georgetown University

I need to change my hypertext less linear, as I mentioned earlier. I have control over my entire essay and I guess I have to loosen control. I need to make more links in between topics and pages. I need more subtopics in general.

Strain and Griffith

I really liked Strain's ideas of trying to really focus on having a strong viewpoint and fully explaining ideas to the reader. My website is going to be there so that someone can learn about a viewpoint that I want them to know, and so it should have as much information as possible in order to give a lot of background and thought provoking ideas. Also, Griffith shines a light on how a hypertext essay should be able to make sense to the reader in an order that was possibly not imagined by the author. It will remind me to make sure that my essay has all the necessasry components and a good navigation in order to let the reader make their own choices about which direction they want to head in my site. Also, I need to have some links to outside web pages so that I can allow even more information to be filtered in to the reader.

Writing strategies

The internet sources provided through the class web page offer many suggestions to make hypertext more effective. I personally found the comments about textual writing to be very useful. Although the internet provides the opportunity to add additional media, the foundation the hypertext is the text! it makes sense that it should be descriptive and engaging. This can be achieved through varied sentence structure and by taking a definite stance in an argument.

Other web pages stressed the non sequential nature of hypertext as important to its composition. This is important to writing because each page must be able to stand on its own. Hypertext also provides the opportunity to provide exact links to references and allow for external insights from other authors.

Good Writing in a Hypertext

To me, it seems like good writing in a hypertext doesn't overwhelm you at all. It is very simple, to the point, and doesn't look like a 5 paragraph essay. In Griffith's writing (the 3rd link) i really think he did a relatively good job of doing this.

There are obviously some points where it seems like the information is too much; however, he breaks it up nicely into bullets and links to other areas in order to keep your attention as a reader. I really like Griffith's idea of saying that instead of writing a linked essay, focus more on a central "theme" and then branch off, leaving the decision up to the reader as to how he or she wants to gather the information. He also says that an effective web page is written like a "web"... not that there's a direct path that you should walk on, but a circle of connections between all of the sites.

Liu and Dang

Liu's commentary on how the public reads information now, especially on the web, was very helpful for me in determining how I will further develop my hypertext. Incorporating audio and video along with the convergence of text and images is the main tip that I am taking from Liu's article.